14 Comments
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T .Vale's avatar

Another job well done, Debbie. I feel so invested in your story. Writing these must be such a mix of catharsis and self reflection. Thank you again for sharing.

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Debbie R's avatar

Yeah, it really is. This one has seen quite a few unsubscribes - more than usual. Not sure if that's people getting bored or not enjoying the content specifically. Maybe not enough sex scenes lately haha. Oh well, at least no one has told me to kill myself for a few weeks!

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T .Vale's avatar

It’s easy to judge when you’re outside of a situation. It’s harder to practice empathy. Put yourself in other people’s shoes. Every time I read one of your posts I try to imagine myself as both you and Franc. Neither side is easy or straightforward.

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Debbie R's avatar

I'm glad if I've been at least partially successful in portraying his perspective. I don't want to present myself as perfect but obviously I'm inside my own body.

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Volsung's avatar

I don’t get why the unsubscribes - this is gold in terms of the truthfulness and rawness of the actual emotions and fears.

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Debbie R's avatar

Who knows. I think it's pretty common though. People are oversubscribed these days, so I understand that they have to be selective. I do too.

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Volsung's avatar

Yes but if it’s because, not enough sec scenes- they’re missing the whole point and core attraction of your writing. Which personally I find very unique and compelling

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AgingJerseyShoreRebel's avatar

I honestly have to commend you for your honesty and bravery although I know you were criticized for cheating, as someone married for 40 plus years it’s a struggle when your wants and desires do not align with your partners. Open and honest communication is what you owe him, and hopefully you find a space in between you both can live with. As someone who knows many friends and family who ended their marriages, it’s painful and incredibly hard especially on the children, I will continue to read your great stories and wish you and the hubby the best

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Debbie R's avatar

Thanks so much for that. This is still telling the story from over a year ago, so I have some perspective looking back. I'm not really sure how the story "ends" just yet, but we're still together right now. Still struggling to communicate and figure out what we each need.

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Chas's avatar

I’ve just read your post on radical honesty. Talk about timely. It touched on the exact same issues my wife and I were discussing last night (we’re agreeing our ENM boundaries). Like you I’m wondering about how much to disclose. I’d feel so much better if I could tell her everything. Your post is a powerful reminder of the potential consequences. I’m glad I held back and I’m glad I read your post.

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Debbie R's avatar

I think in the long run, the honesty is a good thing. It’s harder in the short term but it gets us closer to a place of acceptance. I hope you and your wife can accept each other without flinching as you decide on your boundaries. None of us is perfect and we all have our baggage.

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Norseman's avatar

Franc needed to understand that the dynamic had to change. One way or the other. I love how you took some control back to add needed ballast. A hopeful turn indeed.

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Sifu's avatar

I appreciate your honesty.

I hope you and your family have a great 2026.

And I hope Franc finally gets a good time 😉

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Debbie R's avatar

Thank you Sifu! And to you.

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